Well, I am on my vacation! And I must admit it is really nice. I’m in Hilton Head South Carolina and it is beautiful. What strikes me the most is the weather. Although it is still summer and the sun is out, the humidity is so much lower than in Florida, Praise God! But first let me back up and tell ya about the prep prior.
I left on Friday and the week leading up to my departure I had scheduled appointments, and the ending of my very first series of my Pod cast Caregiving Is a Ministry. I was also editing my manuscript for the last edit. So if you haven’t figured out I was busy and a little stressed. So much so that I really didn’t begin to start packing until the Sunday prior.
Now I can here you, but what you need to know about me is that I am well organized and planned…to a fault at times. Remember my mother was like that. Normally, I do begin a week out for packing but I usually have everything in my head that I want to pack. This time I did not so what I put in the suitcase I wasn’t completely confident that it was what I wanted or needed.
On Thursday morning, I woke up at 3 am tossed until 4am and the got up because I knew what the problem was. My mind was unsettled about my trip and my packing and just the tying up of loose ends before I left. So I finished packing and I shredded documents.
Note: All that unsolicited junk mail I received in the mail that has my name and address on it. I shred…I do not want to be a victim of identify thief and this is one way to help ensure that. So I cleared that out. I wrote my list of tasks that I needed to do prior to leaving on Friday. This took an hour and I went back to bed with a cleared head.
Friday I got up went to the gym, washed the last basket of cloths and did my devotional. But all the while I felt this heaviness. It lasted for about an hour until I realized what it was. I was feeling said about having to do all this alone. It had nothing to do with Momma because if she were alive and not bedridden I would have had to add her stuff to the mix. Which is what I was accustomed to doing for twelve years. No, this heaviness was my recognizing I do longer wanted to live as a single women and that I want my Boaz! So that is what told the Lord..
The funny thing is once I talked to Him about it the heaviness left. Of course I am not going to tell you that I met my Boaz already! I have not but I now know that I am ready for partnership. As I was caring for my mother, I didn’t even have the band width to think of dating and I was ok. No loneliness, not even thinking about it.
Now, I’m not obsessed but have opened the door:-) So here I am here in Hilton Head really enjoying my alone time. But thinking of Momma as well. Wishing in a sense she could be here. I have envisioned her on the phone with her sister telling her about our unit then about the landscape and the food we have been eating. “We will most assuredly will be gaining weight all the food we have been eating.” I can hear her say.
But I know she would be so happy just because she would be here with me. I know that my mother was so very proud of me. She told whomever would listen all the time, and she would tell me. I know neither she nor I knew all that I would be able to accomplish through a military career, nor what God is going to do through me now. No, part of her joy was seeing me, the product of her upbringing, excel and enjoying my life unlike she was able to do as a young woman. Which in turn has become part of my joy, knowing she continues to be proud of me!
Caregiving.....Screaming is allowed! 