Grieving

I buried Momma last Wednesday, 9th Jun 2021, in San Antonio Texas at Greater Corinth Baptist church. This was the church where she was ordained a Deacon and served with distinction. The service was wonderful and I know she was proud. She was laid to rest near her husband, my Dad, and with that I said it is finished!

But the reality is it isn’t. I now face the days without her, without the responsibility of caring for her. I find it ironic that I had been fantasizing about my life after caregiving and how I would have so much time on my hands. Time that I could do with what I chose to do. And now that time is here and I am learning to enjoy the freedom I have but I am grieving.

Sundays are harder. As you know I took on sole responsibility of caring for her on the weekends. Sundays, during COVID, I would clean her up and give her breakfast all while watching and listening to Alfred Street Baptist church. After I finished with her I would pause the video on YouTube and then get my breakfast ready. Bring in a TV tray and then eat and “worshipped” in her room. It was my way of “going” to church with her Or worshipping with her. So Sundays are harder.

I wake up and remember that I do not have to feed her. Saturdays I no longer have to comb her hair and give her the manni /pedi’s. Perhaps I should say that the weekends are harder. But I know in time it won’t be as hard. I have wonderful memories of my life with my mother. I have no regrets and I know that I did everything I could do for her as her caregiver.

A new chapter in the my life is beginning, and while I am excited I will take the time I need to grieve the lost of a most amazing women.