Reflections

This week was a long week, long because Monday was a holiday so my caregiver was off. Yes I give her the holidays because I know that I will be home. Perhaps that’s generous of me, I don’t know but I do think it is fair. So when a holiday is approaching I always tell my mother “It’s you an me this long weekend kid.” Some times she will respond with a smile or and “Oh” which is funny but now and days she doesn’t.

I wonder what goes on in her mind now. I can come into her home thinking she is sleep because she’s quiet but there she will be, eyes open looking at her ceiling fan which for some reason she finds very interesting. I’ll come in and she will cast her gaze toward me and I’ll ask “Whatcha doing, huh?” As I lean in to give her a loud smooch! Of course she doesn’t respond, not really, but it’s just something I do.

Deborah talks to momma all the time, which I think it good. And momma responds but more like reacting with grunts, smiles or some words that may or may not be applicable to what was being said. But then there are those times when she seems to be on point. I can asked her if she is full from the meal and she’ll nod, or Deborah will ask she if she can comb her hair and Momma responds with “No”. Then there are the times when she is going some where, she’ll comment that she either has to go or will be going or “comE on” to one of us. We respond with “where are we going?” But she doesn’t tell us. It’s funny to us. I don’t know whether she is reliving something or what but it is interesting.

Then there are the times when she’s having a bad dream and will wake up fretful. Deborah or I will reassure her that she is here with us and kiss her. Once again not sure where that comes from. She doesn’t appear to be in any pain so I just reassure her.

This disease is so unpredictable in a sense because where there are commonalities there is still allot of room for it to “effect” the individual different than it does someone else. I had a uncle on my father side who died from Alzheimer’s and he walked until it died. I have read and heard of stories of individuals being diagnosed with the disease and then dying within one to two years, then there are the stories of individuals having the disease for 10-15 years.

It could easily be like ground hog day here but momma with her phrases and interjections keeps Deborah and I laughing. This past week as Deborah was feeding her Deborah was talking to her, Deborah talks real loud, Momma opened her eyes (yes she eats most times with her mouth wide open but eyes shut) and said “I am eating” and closed her mouth. We both took that as a clue to hush up! Lol